The Blog of Lone

Our reporter near the scene gives exclusive eye witness accounts of shocking events in sleepy suburbia.

“Today was the day the skys turned black for sleepy countryside town Harpenden.  At 6am this morning residents were woken by a massive explosion as a fuel depot just past nearby Redbourne was blown apart.  The fuel depot was one of the 5th largest in the country and 40 people were injured in the resulting blast, 4 seriously.

One eye witness report told of what sounded like a massive thunder clap and that his attic door was blown up into the attic and insulation came raining down into the hall.  Other local residents were not as lucky.  Many nearer the blasts, the second and third occuring at roughly 6:20 and 6:30 am, have had windows blown in and roofs blown off and have had to be evacuated, as the smoke billowing from the 200 foot high flames is toxic.  Police advise residents in the local area to stay indoors.  Not that they could go anywhere anyway, the nearby M1 is closed for several junction and likely to remain so for at least a day. 

The fire service have released a statement stating that because of the nature of the fire they cannot put it out, instead they must let it burn itself out.  With all the smoke and ash in the air, I personally, predict that for many, it’s going to be a very merry black Christmas.

Back to Lone in the studio.”

Photo’s courtesy of Mr. Thomo

‘Oh no!’  They cry, he hasn’t stopped blogging!

As usual the huge gap between posts is a combination of several reasons, I’m too damn busy, I’m too damn lazy, and I have nothing interesting to say.  If this was one of those, ‘And today I ate a biscuit, the biscuit was good, but I wish there had been a second biscuit’ , type blogs, you know the ones, where ppl give you a blow by blow account of their day/mental state.  Now loving my the little blog monkeys out there I wouldn’t bore you with the first type and I wouldn’t wish the second on anyone.  So instead, starting today, I’m instituting the Fictional News!  Let’s face it reality is dull.  Stop watching the Tv, reading newspapers, and listening to the radio!  The Fictional News has all the information you’ll ever need.

Hedgehog truffles

In culinary news today, top London restaurants have started serving the much sought after hedgehog truffles as the brief season for these rare delicacies opens. Speaking to leading French truffle exporter Jean-Claude Lorraine earlier, our reporter Marie Celeste asked him how long he’d been in the truffle business.

‘I ‘ave been a truffle ‘unter all of my life. My father was a truffle ‘unter, and ‘is father before ‘im. I come from a proud line of truffle ‘unters.’

When asked what made the hedgehog truffle so unique he replied.

‘Mos’ truffles are found with a pig. I use only ‘edgeogs to find my truffles. Unlike the truffles from the pig, which ‘ave been snotted over by the pig, ‘edgeog truffles are much cleaner. We go to the forest and tie string to the ‘edgeog and throw it. Sometime it come back with a truffle stuck to it, sometime it do not. Sometime it do not come back at all, because it is stuck to a tree; ‘zat is why we always take backup ‘edgeogs with us.’

And there we have it, hedgehog truffles, now back to Lone at the Fictional News studio.